Avian Gamers Network

1. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, "Wait...where the hell is Harry Potter?"

2. Block the entrance to the theater while screaming: "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"

3. After the movie, say "Lucas could have done it better."

4. At some point during the movie, stand up and shout: "I must go! Middle Earth needs me!" and run and try to jump into the screen. After bouncing off, return quietly to your seat.

5. Play a drinking game where you have to take a sip every time someone says: "The Ring."

6. Point and laugh whenever someone dies.

7. Ask the nearest ring-nut if he thinks Gandalf went to Hogwarts.

8. Finish off every one of Elrond's lines with "Mr. Anderson."

9. When Aragorn is crowned king, stand up and at the top of your lungs sing, "And I did it.... MY way...!"

10. At the end, complain that Gollum was offensive to Ethiopians.

11. Talk like Gollum all through the movie. At the end, bite off someone's finger and fall down the stairs.

12. When Shelob appears, pinch the guy in front of you on the back of the neck.

13. Dress up as old ladies and reenact "The Battle of Helms Deep" Monty Python style.

14. When Denethor lights the fire, shout "Barbecue!"

15. Ask people around you who they think is the next "Terminator" sent from the Middle Earth of the future to assassinate Frodo Baggins.

16. In TTT when the Ents decide to march to war, stand up and shout "RUN FOREST, RUN!"

17. Every time someone kills an Orc, yell: "That's what I'm Tolkien about!" See how long it takes before you get kicked out of the theatre.

18. During a wide shot of a battle, inquire, "Where's Waldo?"

19. Talk loudly about how you heard that there is a single frame of a nude Elf hidden somewhere in the movie.

20. Start an Orc sing-a-long.

21. Whenever a new male character appears on screen, say loudly: "You've got a "toight" body" goldmember style.

22. At the end of the movie, stand up and yell: "I STILL RECKON THAT PROFESSOR DUMBELDORE COULD'VE TAKEN GANDALF!"

23. Have a bright LED attatched to your butt crack and when Frodo and Sam enter the spider's lair, stand at the screen, bend over, moon the crowd and yell: Now THAT's what I call the star of Erendil!"

24. Stand outside the cinema with a donation box and a sign that reads: "Orc preservation fund! Support the poor orc widows and children that this vicious war leaves behind."

25. Put on a pair of "Spock" ears and approach everyone in the cinema stating: "This is not logical"

26. Sit in your seat with a high placard above you that reads: "Quiet please, wizard training in progress."

27. Pass around a petition requesting the elves remain in Middle Earth.

28. Paint a toy sword with blue irridescent paint, stand in front of the cinema with the sword held high and scream: "The orcs are coming! The orcs are coming!"

29. Stand in front of the screen for the whole movie and whenever someone tells you to get out of the way, point at a your finger and say with all ernest: "But I've got the ring on, you can see right through me."

30. Every 5 minutes, stand up and release a butterfly. One minute later stand up and complain: "Where is that damned bird?"

#4 had me falling out of my seat... great image. I didn't post it here, because... *checks his membership status* ... I quit Avian.

I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm dressing up as Elvis when I go to the theater on Wednesday.

Hey Precious, I'm your hunka hunka burnin' love