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Alright, last night started off like any standard night in Sniggerdly. Shamis (our CEO) logs in and gets pinged with a hundred desparate cries for assistance to do this that and the other.
He decided on a worthwhile cause, of providing support to an allied corp while they setup a couple player owned stations in a hostile system.
So, we head out... a meager task force of about 15 sniggs, with our usual setup of fast moving frigs, cruisers, battlecruisers... one guy ventured out in a Battleship, which was pretty brave of him. in any case, we set off arrived at the system, and camped the station preventing all of the 30+ users sitting in the station from undocking. basically consisted of watching for someone to pop into existance... and just as quick pop them out of existance. Only 2 frigates showed up for the half hour we sat there. but alls well, they thanked us, we went on our way to find something fun to do.
8 jumps later, we come upon our target system. (how these systems are picked is that the map shows how many people are active in any system, usually about 30-60 minutes lag time on the updates to this information) so we picked a system with around 30 active pilots. Given that we're in the middle of hostile territory, good chance this system is a base of operations for one of the alliances we're fighting against.
Sure enough, we send our scout in... he reports back 35 hostiles in system, and he goes about scanning them, finding where they are, what they're doing. few minutes pass and he calls a jump into the system, as a lone drake, (caldari battlecruiser) has been lured to the gate and tackled (has a warp disruptor on which stops him from getting away). So we warp in, and procede to decimate this poor drake.
About 3/4 of the way through its tank, we get the information that every snigg wants to hear, multiple battleships, and support ships undocking from the station to assist this drake. by the time the support gets there, the drake and its pilot are long since popped. but the news of reinforcements is music to our ears.
we engage this fleet like they're a bunch of nobodys flying worthless tech 1 cruisers, head on. we were outnumbered, vastly outgunned in terms of firepower, but that means nothing when you're zipping between targets at 2500 m/s. Tackling frigs, always the first targets. that way, if things turn sour, we can withdrawl on our own terms without interferance. with the frigs down, the cruisers fall almost as fast. By this time the first Thanatos had joined the battle. The thanatos carrier is a formadable machine. i'll touch more on that in a sec...
so we procede to wipe out the remaining battleships, this is all pretty standard warfare, nothing really to sweat over... we haven't even lost a single frigate as of yet. all thats left is the carrier... so we start on it. Now i mentioned this thing is a formidable foe... basicaly, with our combined firepower, we couldn't do nearly enough damage to get into its tank... we pretty much took potshots, taking out his insanely expensive fighter drones as he desparately called them back in, and waited while we called in reinforcements to help us take this thing down.
A short while later, maybe 10-20 minutes of waiting, a small Dusk and Dawn (D2) gang warps in (8-10 players strong), a few battleships, nothing really impressive, nothing like we were hoping to get... so we continued shooting this carrier, making a little more progress, got the carrier's armor down to about 40%, before the second wave of their reinforcements came in. Seems they were a little embarrassed at the first whomping we gave them, cause this force was a little beefed up. this whole time, local population was steadily climbing, was up to around 60 players, friendlies counted at about 25.
Now the thing with fighting on these terms, is that we're in their system. if we die, we have 20+ jumps to get back into the fight, which basically means you're done, don't expect to be back in this engagement. Any of them that we killed, they hopped in another ship at their station in the same system, and geared up for another wave of attacking.
so they jump in, in greater numbers.... and with more carriers... 2 more jump in with this wave. the crappy thing with this is that when carriers are near eachother.... they can pretty much remote repair eachother indefinately. in other words, the meager progress we were making breaking their tanks was nullified. sucks.. but oh well. game mechanics, and not much we can do about it. Now as near as i can figure it... their whole strategy relied around bringing in all these carriers, and assuming we'd go "holy shit, lets get out of here!" but if any of you have ever bothered reading my tales before, you know thats not how snigg flies.
We went back to our fun of taking out the lemmings they sent at us... sadly, sometime around this point, the D2 gang that came in to assist us musta went "Holy shit, lets get outa here!" cause now there were no more blues (non ganged friendly ships) in the battle. but whatever. doesn't change the fact that these pilots seem to want to pad our killboard with wave after wave of targets for us. local still rising, up to 80 players, and i think we're down a snigg at this point. so 14 friendlies... my calculations give that 66 hostiles in system.
Seems they are trying to go with a new strategy now... realizing that we're not just going to up and leave because they have really big ships around. a good 10 battleships all warp in at extreme range, obviously fitted for sniping at the edge of their targeting range... ooops 350km off the battlefield, which leaves them almost 100 km outside of the max lock range. haha. they warp off, and warp in a few minutes later, at a more appropriate range for their goal. So we send our fastest tackler to go and intercept the battleship fleet, Tey are over 150km away, the tackler makes the trip in roughly 40 seconds... and locks the first one down, because of the distance, the rest of the gang is able to warp to our tackler and arrive there in just a few seconds more. The only thing i can imagine they were thinking was, "awww fuck, why didn't we think of that" So, we lock down as many of the battleships as we can, while concentrating our fire on one at a time, zipping around them, so they have absolutly no chance to hit us with their long range setup, and procede to destroy them while the rest of their fleet desparately tries to get within range after we left them in the dust.
My god these people... FATAL alliance... fitting name, cause their strategies pretty much all they're good for is dieing.
i'm getting cramps from typing this story.. i'm a techie, i don't like typing... anyway, i'll sum it up.
We were there destroying wave after wave of their useless ships, for an hour and a half. An HOUR and a HALF. Killing them. For fun. with no more than 2 losses. At the end of this, they had a total of NINE carriers in the battle, all trying to kill us. NINE Carriers. for 15 disposable ships. Their best kill... consisted of EIGHT of the 9 carriers all sending ALL their fighter drones onto a single target. Don't get me wrong, we all had a laugh after the initial wtf, we look up, one of our guys is surrounded by 50 fighters. Needless to say, he was dead before he saw them blow him up.
In total, I had about 4 warpouts to shake targets, was into hull damage at one point, but got out repaired, and came back. In the end, i lost my destroyer. We got blobbed on massively, i guess they finally realized that to get rid of us they would need to send everything in the system and they did. It was rather comicle, that even before this happened, Shamis and others were saying they were running pretty low on ammo, and we should start getting ready to head out. hehe.
Our killboard stats for this battle are nuts. we had over 70 kills, and 5 losses. in an hour and a half. Sadly, the rest of eve will likely not know about this decimation, as sniggs are not in the habbit of gloating in the eve-online forums. and i rather doubt anyone from the opposing side will admit this battle ever took place. Even Shamis said this was in his top 3 battles ever in eve. Which makes it feel even sweeter to me.
The whole time... all i could think of was a scene from futurama:
Fry: I heard one time you single handedly defeated a horde of rampaging somethings in the something something system.
Zapp: The Killbots? A trifle. It was simply a matter of outsmarting them.
Fry: Wow, I never would've thought of that.
Zapp: You see the killbots have a preset kill limit; knowing their weakness I sent wave after wave of my own men at them until they reached their limit and shutdown
Our limit was our ammo, and most of us reached it.
Best Fight Ever!
_________________
~Ravage™
~I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
~The problem with facts, is that sometimes they don't support your opinion.
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